She Decided Her Family Is Going To Spend Christmas Eve at Home This Year, Now Her Sister Is Saying She Has Ruined Christmas—This “Guilt-Trip” Now Stands in the Way of Her Carving Out Her Own Family Traditions

I don’t think anyone sets out trying to make a tradition the first time they do it. Just like my family’s tradition of doing a New Year's Day “Polar Bear Swim” (an annual cold plunge into the lake for those not initiated). At some point there was a year, before I was even around, where everyone just decided to jump into the lake on New Year’s Day (probably to shake off the effects of the festivities the night before). From there, they decided to do it every year. Soon it became tradition.

Some traditions don’t stick around. Take, for instance, the time my family rented out a winter cabin to go cross-country skiing. We had a great time together up there in the mountains, and at the end of it the entire family declared that we would definitely be back the next year.

That was around 15 years ago, and we haven’t been back since.

Anyways, what’s my point? Sometimes it’s time to know when to keep a tradition going and when to start your own. And every tradition has to start somewhere, and every tradition started with someone doing just what they wanted to do. When you start your own family, in your own house, it's ok to want to build your own memories and start your own traditions there without having to pack up and drive somewhere every time you have a holiday.

I think, also, life is completely a series of tradeoffs and decisions like this, and it’s ok to make a decision for yourself and what you want. But it’s also ok to be a bit sad when someone else’s decision they’ve made for themselves brings something that you really treasured and valued to an end.

Sometimes you’ll find yourself wishing that you could have the best of both choices. But that’s just not how things usually go.

Ahh, the holidays. Time to sit back with a nice cup of hot chocolate and gaze out on the snow-covered world around. Mentally stealing yourself for a day with your extended family.

This woman shared how she wanted to spend Christmas Eve at home this year with her husband and almost 3-year-old. Offering, instead, a family visit on Christmas Day or Boxing Day (the 26th). But spending Christmas alone wasn't enough for her sister, who has felt rather put out about the entire thing.

Ever since I can remember, my family has spent Christmas together. However, I now have a husband and a toddler (turning 3 soon). This year, my husband and I decided it’s time to start our own family traditions. We want to spend Christmas Eve just the three of us at home, but we offered to visit my family on the 25th or 26th.

She shares how her mother understands and even expected this move from her daughter, having started the current tradition herself when her daughters were small.

My mother is completely understanding. She actually expected this and did the exact same thing when she was a young mother. Plus, she is in a relationship, so she won't be alone at all.

But her sister has beein incredibly upset. Basically mourning the loss of the occasion, and expressing her concerns about how the breaking of this tradition will lead to further ones being broken.

However, my sister is taking it incredibly hard. She isn't acting out of malice, but she is deeply sad and acting like a stubborn child. She shut down and told my mother that if we are not celebrating together on Christmas Eve, "it won't be Christmas at all" for her this year.

But, the sister has her own spouse to spend the evening with, as does her mother. So the woman feels like she isn't putting anyone out and leaving them alone on Christmas. Still, change is pain. Who knows what the sister might be going through that has led her to react like this.

Here is the thing that confuses me the most: My sister herself is newly married. Both she and my mother are in happy relationships, so nobody is being left isolated or alone on Christmas Eve. Yet, my sister is reacting as if I am destroying the entire holiday.

Her reaction is giving me a massive guilt trip. I feel like it's a natural step to build your own traditions with your child, but seeing her so heartbroken makes me second-guess myself.

AITA for sticking to my plan?